John 11 - an addendum

I died last week! Jesus was nearby, but he didn't come. He could have healed me, but he didn't. I suffered, my family grieved, my sisters prayed, (they even sent and asked him to come), my neighbors mourned, the doctors gave up. And I died.

Now that I'm not dead anymore, I realize that Jesus was always aware. He cared, probably more than I can ever understand. I'm told that he cried at my grave. And I understand that he told his closest companions that his delay in getting to me - his failure to interfere in my death - was actually for the best. And I'm confident - now - that his delay was God's plan and - as always - his plan was perfect.

I might have been another of the many that he healed. Instead, I'm one that he actually raised from the dead.

I always knew he could heal. I always believed he could show up at the last moment; that its never too late until its over. But now I know it's never too late. It's never over. God always has a plan - even in my death.

My sisters pray differently now. My neighbors don't mourn like they used to. Even grief and life's daily struggles are always tempered with hope.

I think I'll die much more calmly next time.

And I know I'll live much more confidently until then.

- Lazarus